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I firmly hold the belief that it is always possible to change. I believe you can in fact instruct a veteran learner, provided that the mature being is receptive and willing to learn. So long as the old dog is ready to confess when it was mistaken, and strive to be a more enlightened self.

Alright, I confess, I am that seasoned creature. And the skill I am working to acquire, even though I am a creature of habit? It is an important one, an issue I have grappled with, frequently, for my entire life. My ongoing effort … to become less scared of huntsman spiders. My regrets to all the other spiders that exist; I have to be realistic about my possible growth as a human. The focus must remain on the huntsman because it is large, dominant, and the one I see with the greatest frequency. This includes a trio of instances in the recent past. In my own living space. I'm not visible to you, but a shudder runs through me with discomfort as I type.

I doubt I’ll ever reach “admirer” status, but I've dedicated effort to at least attaining a standard level of composure about them.

I have been terrified of spiders from my earliest years (as opposed to other children who are fascinated by them). Growing up, I had ample brothers around to guarantee I never had to handle any personally, but I still panicked if one was visibly in the immediate vicinity as me. One incident stands out of one morning when I was eight, my family slumbering on, and facing the ordeal of a spider that had made its way onto the lounge-room wall. I “handled” with it by standing incredibly far away, almost into the next room (for fear that it chased me), and emptying a generous amount of pesticide toward it. It didn’t reach the spider, but it succeeded in affecting and disturb everyone in my house.

In my adult life, whomever I was in a relationship with or cohabiting with was, automatically, the most courageous of spiders in our pairing, and therefore in charge of managing the intruder, while I produced whimpers of distress and fled the scene. If I was on my own, my strategy was simply to exit the space, douse the illumination and try to erase the memory of its presence before I had to re-enter.

In a recent episode, I was a guest at a pal's residence where there was a very large huntsman who resided within the sill, mostly just lingering. To be less scared of it, I imagined the spider as a female entity, a girlie, one of us, just relaxing in the sun and eavesdropping on us chat. This may seem rather silly, but it worked (a little bit). Put another way, making a conscious choice to become more fearless proved successful.

Be that as it may, I've endeavored to maintain this practice. I think about all the rational arguments not to be scared. I know huntsman spiders are not dangerous to humans. I understand they prey upon things like insect pests (my mortal enemies). I know they are one of the planet's marvelous, benign creatures.

Yet, regrettably, they do continue to walk like that. They propel themselves in the utterly horrifying and almost unjust way imaginable. The sight of their multiple limbs transporting them at that terrible speed induces my primordial instincts to kick into overdrive. They claim to only have eight legs, but I believe that multiplies when they get going.

Yet it is no fault of their own that they have frightening appendages, and they have an equal entitlement to be where I am – if not more. I’ve found that implementing the strategy of working to prevent immediately exit my own skin and run away when I see one, attempting to stay calm and collected, and consciously focusing about their positive qualities, has proven somewhat effective.

Simply due to the reality that they are hairy creatures that scuttle about at an alarming rate in a way that haunts my sleep, is no reason for they deserve my hatred, or my high-pitched vocalizations. It is possible to acknowledge when my reactions have been misguided and fueled by irrational anxiety. I doubt I’ll ever make it to the “trapping one under a cup and taking it outside” level, but one can't be sure. There’s a few years for this seasoned learner yet.